I’m not sure if there are actually any other Mick Jagger conspiracy theories but even if there are, this take the cake.
The song “Tik Tok,” as performed by Ke$ha, was written by a guy named Benny Blanco. Its lyrics include the line “We kick them to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger.”
That’s a little bit strange, right? Mick Jagger wasn’t exactly at the height of his popularity when “Tik Tok” came out. What’s even weirder, it wasn’t the only popular song to paint the man in a pleasant light: “Moves Like Jagger,” by Maroon 5 was released at around the same time, and Benny Blanco also had a hand in writing that one.
This is where things start to get downright strange.
The song “The Time (Dirty Bit),” as performed by the Black Eyed Peas has the line: “All these girls, they like my swagger, they calling me Mick Jagger, I be rolling like a Stone.” It was written by John DeNicola, who used to produce the music for a band called Kara’s Flowers which you may know better as their new name, Maroon 5.
The song “Heart and Soul,” from The Jonas Brothers contains a verse that ends with “Making mistakes, but that won’t matter, if you can swag like old Mick Jagger.” Antonina Armato wrote the piece, and she is managed by Downtown Music Publishing. Care to guess who else they manage? (Here’s a hint: It rhymes with “bassoon jive”)
This web extends all throughout the recording industry but one thing remains unclear: What’s the link back to Mick Jagger? There must be something, because if you have a look at Google Trends, you’ll see that his popularity spiked with the release of each song. The only time when it has been higher is during March of 2014, when his girlfriend died. Some people have suggested that the man’s name is just easy to rhyme with “swagger,” but popular usage of the word came about after the aforementioned songs had hit the radio.
In other words, “Jagger” prompted “swagger,” not the other way around.
Why does there seem to be a cabal of artists trying to artificially inflate the performer’s appeal and popularity? What benefit is there in promoting an aging rock star? Who is actually behind this odd trend?
In order to answer those questions, we need to turn to Vivendi. This is a company which owns a lot of stuff. Their subsidiaries include DailyMotion, UbiSoft, GameLoft… and the Universal Music Group. The Rolling Stones signed to Universal Music in 2008. In 2010, all of the songs listed above were released.
Look at those Google trends again. 2008 marked Mick Jagger’s lowest ever dip in popularity, and the slump continued until February of 2010 (right after “Tik Tok” became the most popular song on the radio). In September of that same year, The Rolling Stones re-released their rare concert movie, securing the number one spot on four different countries’ charts – the US and the UK being two of them – second place on four more, and a Double Platinum certification in Canada.
Strangely enough, though, the only other place (besides the United States) where Platinum status was achieved was in France… which is where Vivendi is located.
What if all of this was carefully planned and executed?
What if there’s a shadowy organization that’s intent on promoting Mick Jagger for their own profit?
What if I made all of this up on a whim, and just found whatever tenuous evidence I could to support it?
With credit to u/RamsesThePigeon on reddit.